What is relational therapy?

Relational therapy focuses on the patterns and dynamics that shape our thoughts, emotions, and relationships. It emphasizes understanding how past and present experiences influence the way we relate to ourselves and others. In sessions, I attune closely to these patterns, noticing subtle cues in communication, behavior, and emotional responses. This helps clients become more aware of themselves and their relational patterns, build insight, and practice responding differently in life.

What is trauma and trauma-oriented care?

When I use the word trauma, I’m not only referring to extreme or catastrophic events. Trauma can also include experiences - past or present - that are confusing, overwhelming, or emotionally unsupported. Most people experience some form of trauma, and its effects exist on a spectrum. For some, it may show up as temporary stress or anxiety. For others, it can shape how they relate to themselves, regulate emotions, or connect with others over time.

Trauma can be:

• A single event or ongoing experience

• Relational or developmental

• Intergenerational or shaped by systemic and cultural factors

• Subtle, cumulative, or hard to name

When I describe my work as being trauma-oriented, I’m talking about the lens I bring, not a protocol I apply.

This means I assume that:

• People’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors make sense in the context of their experiences

• The strategies someone uses to cope - even if they cause distress - developed for a reason

• Most people are doing the best they can with tools and supports they have at the time

From this perspective, symptoms aren’t signs of weakness or pathology, but adaptive responses that once helped protect or stabilize the system. It also means that I approach therapy with curiosity rather than judgment, paying attention to how stress, overwhelm, or relational difficulty may be connected to earlier learning, loss, or unmet needs.

What does all of this look like in practice?

Because I approach therapy with the understanding that people’s responses are adaptive and shaped by experience, I place a strong emphasis on safety, autonomy, and collaboration.

In practice, this work may include a range of approaches depending on needs, age, and preferences. Sessions can involve:

• Conversation and reflection

• Psychoeducation and skill-building

• Somatic, creative, or expressive work

• Play-based approaches (especially with children)

• Structured exercises to support awareness, regulation, or communication

You have choice in how we work together. You’re never asked to talk about anything you don’t want to, unless safety is involved. We move at a pace that feels manageable and collaborative. Rather than focusing on fixing or eliminating parts of you, therapy becomes a place to understand patterns, build capacity, and develop more flexibility and choice over time.

Who is this therapy helpful for?

Relational, trauma-oriented therapy can benefit many people, though can be especially valuable for those who:

• Struggle with ongoing anxiety, depression, stress or overwhelm.

• Individuals, couples or families struggling with patterns in relationships or recurring challenges.

• Have tried other therapies but didn’t feel they got to the root of their concerns.

• Want deeper understanding of themselves, their histories, and their relational patterns.

Relational, trauma-oriented therapy may be less useful for people wanting or requiring brief, solution-focused therapy, or are uninterested in exploring patterns, relationships, or deeper emotional understanding.